Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Day 1

Today, I took a major step in my 'recovery'. I went to the gym. A friend of mine said that we should start going together and I immediately started to panic... and got nauseous. Lol. But... after texting back and forth for a while we decided that going at 5 AM would be best since there would be less people. I barely hesitated which was a surprise to me!!

First thing I had to go to bed early or at least at a decent hour. Which... has always been an issue for me. My minds usually WIDE awake when I need to go to sleep. I set my alarm for 4:30 AM and didn't do anything on my phone or iPad. I just put them aside and tried to fall asleep. I was able to drift off to sleep after a little bit. Lilly felt the need to sleep on or close to my head so that was different.

Well... 4:30 rolls around and thankfully I didn't have to struggle getting up. Woo!!

I quickly changed, fixed myself up just a bit and off I went!! Simple. Simple. Simple.

We spent about an hour there and I got home around 6. I survived!!

I think my biggest fear/anxiety is just going and being seen by other people. My comfort zone is quite comfy!! It's just getting myself out there and not trying to be completely invisible. I'm going to have to go out and do what's best for me. Which... is foreign territory to me.

When I got home, I took Lilly for a walk. She was quite confused when I was getting up so early and putting on my 'walking' clothes but didn't take her. She loved it!! We only walked about 1/2 a mile but it's something!!

Back home I made some turkey bacon and 5 grain rolled oats. Mom and I had breakfast and it was very nice!!

Right now I'm at work and it's barely 10:30 AM but it feels like I've already had a full day. I pray I have this motivation everyday to get up and make myself go!! We're planning on going Monday thru Friday at 5 AM. Pray pray pray pray!!

I know I can do this :)

From our walk this morning <3 

xoxo - J